Vampires and Body Fluids. I was just wondering…

Because of repeated emergency website moves, and other unanticipated crises, all the blog posts I have ever written prior to March 2011 (when I went indie) have disappeared…or so I thought.

Recently, I found an old archived backup of the site–see, I knew the anal habits of compulsively backing up *everything* would pay off.  

After picking through raw PHP code, I’ve unearthed some of the best of those old posts and will repost them here over the next few weeks, in between news and gossip.


Depending on which fantasy author is your cup of tea, the vampires you love to adore have certain powers and properties. Charlaine Harris’s vampires are truly dead and magic-driven, and when they cry, they cry tears of blood. Her explanation, and it was a very sensible one, was that they imbibe only blood, and therefore what they excrete when they cry must therefore be blood.

I’m currently working my way through the Anita Blake series, and haven’t reach a point where any vampire has been put under dire emotional stress, so I’ve yet to find out what Laurell K. Hamilton’s theory might be. So far, though, her vampires have proved to be intimidating and aloof, so it’s hard to imagine that they’d ever reach a point where they’d need to break down and have a good cry.

But they do have sex.

And that brings me neatly to the point I’ve been wondering about.

I’m smack in the middle of writing my sixth erotic vampire novel. Actually, I’m much closer to the end of it than the middle, but I digress. Fact is, I’ve been writing a heck of a lot of sex scenes involving vampires and humans, and quite naturally, my thoughts have touched on this subject. I guess I’m going to have to get blunt and unladylike here if I’m to make sense, aren’t I?

If Harris’s vampires only have blood in them, what do they produce when they climax?

There we go. Did you just go “ugggh?”

Food for thought, huh?

In later Sookie Stackhouse books, there were sex scenes that featured ejaculate from a vampire and I’m pretty sure it was your standard, human-looking substance because she didn’t specifically describe it as being different in any way. So in this case, Ms. Harris broke with her own theory.

Fact is, if vampires are the undead, then an erotic author writing vampire stories should probably answer this theoretical question and set up her vampire universe properly before she starts writing. Ejaculate is part and parcel of sex scenes, after all. I don’t think it matters which way an author answers the question and sets up her vampire universe, as long as the theory makes sense, and the stories remain consistent with that theory.

Which just goes to show I probably have either way too much time on my hands (not possible), or I take story-telling far too seriously!!


[first posted August 31, 2010 and since recovered.]


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