I Hate Facebook.

Even as I typed the heading for this post, I knew I was probably going to get pounded for it.  At the very least because this blog gets fed into Facebook itself, and spread across the 359 friends’ (and counting) walls that I have, and I have some rapid pro-Facebook friends.  They’re the ones that are likely to do the pounding.

Plus the RSS feed for this post goes to Amazon, Twitter, and other social networks, too, so that’s likely to have any social network keener after my hide on general principal.

So I guess I’d better explain myself tout de suite, huh?

1.  I don’t hate Facebook in a burn-the-flag, take-no-prisoners, protest-march kind of way.  Go to Google and type in “I hate Facebook” (keep the parenthesis) and hit enter, and you’ll get slammed with 558,000 hits, some of them so full of vile and vitriole, you’ll wonder what Facebook has been up to while your back was turned.  I’m not one of those, not even close.

2.  I resisted Facebook for three flipping years, until all the marketing experts and my publishing betters insisted I join the fray, so I did, kicking and screaming.  Now I can’t stay away.  The damn thing keeps talking to me via email and even sends me text messages!

3.  Facebook makes me feel guilty and inadequate by comparison.  I’m friends with a lot of authors (d’uh) and as I scroll down my wall, all their status lines have sickly cheerful messages like “I just sold a four-book deal to Harlequin MIRA!” or “I’ve written 3 million words today, and I feel fiiiiiine.”  (Pass the bucket, I’m going to throw up).

4.  Then you get the occassional author friend whose house just got wiped out by floods, whose spouse just died, whose life as they know it just got wiped out and they’re hanging on by a thread, and thanks to Facebook you can help them hold it together for a few minutes more by chatting to them in real time.

5.  Plus you can actually talk to readers.  Real fans.  Right there.  Right now.  Same way.

6.  Book covers.  Everywhere.  It’s better than Christmas decorations.

7.  I just love scrolling down the wall, getting little glimpses of what everyone’s up to.  Stopping off and commenting.  Giving the occassional thumbs up.  The very occassional thumbs down.

8.  I’m on deadline for a book that is supposed to be turned in before the 10th, I’m prepping for a book launch for the 9th, prepping for a reader convention that starts on the 9th, and prepping for a book launch for a book that launches on the 12th under another pen name.  I was supposed to get this post written an hour ago.  Guess where I’ve been instead?

I really, really hate Facebook.

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