Experimenting With Sex. It’s Up to You and No One Else

I’ve been sitting on this for a few weeks now, tossing up whether I should say something or not, and by now it’s probably far too late. But I thought I would speak my piece anyway, just in case some other lost souls find their way here.

The traffic stats for my site tell me what search terms people used when they found their way to my site. This isn’t anything nefarious. It helps me to figure out what the majority of readers are interested in finding on the site. (Mostly, that’s free books, which I can’t keep supplying, or I’d go broke!)

But there was one search term that popped up a few weeks ago that made me feel very uneasy:

“mmf 3 way but scared”

There’s all sorts of interpretations one can put on that, but the obvious one is that someone is being pressured into participating in a menage sex session and they’re scared, and scouring the Internet, looking for help, advice, support, god knows what, to get them through it.

The reason they found my site is easy enough to understand, given how many MMF erotic novels I write. I only wish the novels might have helped them. If they read any of my novels at all, I only hope they realized one thing: None of my heroines are ever forced into menage sex, or any sexual situation, come to that. They’re never pressured, although they might have to be persuaded into trying something novel, but that’s about as heavy as the “pressure” gets.

As a victim of violent rape myself, I would never condone or write about rape as a pleasureable or acceptable act, although I have written about rape (as a horrible assault on a woman) in my novels before (Diana by the Moon being a case in point). There is a fine but very distinct line where sex is no longer consensual, and everyone should know and understand that line. No one should ever cross it.

If you’re being pressured into experimenting with sex acts you don’t feel comfortable with, you’re being pushed across that line. You have a right to say “no” and stick to your “no” as long as you want to, and you don’t have to give explanations, either. Comfort zones are sometimes hard for us to explain even to ourselves, so you certainly don’t have to explain it to others.

If blackmail is being employed to manipulate you into the sex acts (“I’ll dump you if you don’t!”) then do you really want the relationship that badly? What sort of a person are they to use those types of tactics? The emotional blackmail may be far more subtle than that, but if the pressure is there, check to see if that is the implied suggestion they’re using. Make your choice accordingly, if they are.

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Ever. Sex is supposed to be fun, not scary.

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